One More Time...
Looking back at the moment that changed my life, I wish life actually did have a remote that I could rewind back to the day my best friend bid goodbye to me and the rest of the world. Having spent the best part of my middle school with Anne be it groaning over math and crushing on the cutest guys , I was quite taken aback when she came to tell us that she was packing her bags to leave for Cochin that fall. All our plans of taking our tenth grade tuitions together and doing guitar classes (Anne was a guitar addict) fell in a hazy heap in front of me as I realized that my best friend was leaving the city for good. I remember sulking around for days avoiding her and giving snooty replies to her gentle words. I befriended others and began to build a shell around me, to cut her out of my life. She soon left for Cochin and all strings snapped. I plunged into my tenth grade life, and even though I thought about Anne on and off and wondered how happening her life was , the thoughts soon ceased to be and she became a memory , carefully tucked away in a vault which I did not intend on opening for a long time, and probably never would.
I still recall that The phone call on October 16th two years later. Having rushed back from after school activities I remember recognising the familiar voice that brought back those memories of my former best friend. I remember feeling the world stop around me when she told me that she’d been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer the previous year and was undergoing chemotherapy. She’d left abruptly as she couldn’t come to terms with the condition herself and had not wanted me worrying about her when my boards were round the corner. She reassured me that she was on her way to getting better and wanted me to come and visit her as soon as I could. I took the next flight to Cochin and spent the day with Anne, the frailer thinner Anne who sported a pink bandana. ‘From then on there was no separating us’ she’d said, but as a twelfth grader now balancing academics with a full social calendar I found it hard to strike a balance. I loved her like crazy but there were moments when she took the backseat to my Friday movies and school culturals. ‘She’ll be here soon ‘I told myself. ‘What could go wrong if I put her on hold for a couple of days more’? I remember having this nasty fight with her when she begged me to come visit her over the weekend. I had refused as I wanted to shop for my school farewell. I snapped at her telling her to ‘go get a life because she did not seem to have one’. Little did I realise the irony of my words back then. Anne passed away a week later.
Now, 4 years later those words haunt me like a ghost, reminding me of the choice that I had to have visited my best friend before she drew her last breath. If only had I known that her chemo was taking a turn for the worse, If only I had had the time to listen to her pour out her worries, If only I had put my selfish needs aside to give a hug to my best friend when she needed me the most. Life’s like that. You wish you had that ‘one more time’ to set things right but sometimes there’s never a tomorrow. I’ve become a different woman after Anne. She’s the reason for who I am today. When I see relationships break because people take each other for granted I remember her , when I am the first one to say sorry and fix a fight I remember her, When I take time out to listen to a friend’s worries I remember her, when my friends come to me when they want a hug I am reminded of her. I see her smiling down on me because I’ve understood that ‘ tomorrows’ probably never take life. I directed a movie ‘One more time’ dedicated to Anne hoping it would bridge the gap between two former best friends, or work its magic on an egoistic couple, to remind us all that it is not a sin to say sorry, to tell a person that you love them and to give people second chances because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you.
This article again is a tribute to Anne, to tell her that she is still my best friend wherever she is ,that I¬‘ve never strum the guitar after she left , that I still visit her first when I land in Cochin and most importantly that I never take my friends or foes for granted and make it a point to be there whether they need me or not , that I remember her in my prayers every night until we meet again on that beautiful shore.
Looking back at the moment that changed my life, I wish life actually did have a remote that I could rewind back to the day my best friend bid goodbye to me and the rest of the world. Having spent the best part of my middle school with Anne be it groaning over math and crushing on the cutest guys , I was quite taken aback when she came to tell us that she was packing her bags to leave for Cochin that fall. All our plans of taking our tenth grade tuitions together and doing guitar classes (Anne was a guitar addict) fell in a hazy heap in front of me as I realized that my best friend was leaving the city for good. I remember sulking around for days avoiding her and giving snooty replies to her gentle words. I befriended others and began to build a shell around me, to cut her out of my life. She soon left for Cochin and all strings snapped. I plunged into my tenth grade life, and even though I thought about Anne on and off and wondered how happening her life was , the thoughts soon ceased to be and she became a memory , carefully tucked away in a vault which I did not intend on opening for a long time, and probably never would.
I still recall that The phone call on October 16th two years later. Having rushed back from after school activities I remember recognising the familiar voice that brought back those memories of my former best friend. I remember feeling the world stop around me when she told me that she’d been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer the previous year and was undergoing chemotherapy. She’d left abruptly as she couldn’t come to terms with the condition herself and had not wanted me worrying about her when my boards were round the corner. She reassured me that she was on her way to getting better and wanted me to come and visit her as soon as I could. I took the next flight to Cochin and spent the day with Anne, the frailer thinner Anne who sported a pink bandana. ‘From then on there was no separating us’ she’d said, but as a twelfth grader now balancing academics with a full social calendar I found it hard to strike a balance. I loved her like crazy but there were moments when she took the backseat to my Friday movies and school culturals. ‘She’ll be here soon ‘I told myself. ‘What could go wrong if I put her on hold for a couple of days more’? I remember having this nasty fight with her when she begged me to come visit her over the weekend. I had refused as I wanted to shop for my school farewell. I snapped at her telling her to ‘go get a life because she did not seem to have one’. Little did I realise the irony of my words back then. Anne passed away a week later.
Now, 4 years later those words haunt me like a ghost, reminding me of the choice that I had to have visited my best friend before she drew her last breath. If only had I known that her chemo was taking a turn for the worse, If only I had had the time to listen to her pour out her worries, If only I had put my selfish needs aside to give a hug to my best friend when she needed me the most. Life’s like that. You wish you had that ‘one more time’ to set things right but sometimes there’s never a tomorrow. I’ve become a different woman after Anne. She’s the reason for who I am today. When I see relationships break because people take each other for granted I remember her , when I am the first one to say sorry and fix a fight I remember her, When I take time out to listen to a friend’s worries I remember her, when my friends come to me when they want a hug I am reminded of her. I see her smiling down on me because I’ve understood that ‘ tomorrows’ probably never take life. I directed a movie ‘One more time’ dedicated to Anne hoping it would bridge the gap between two former best friends, or work its magic on an egoistic couple, to remind us all that it is not a sin to say sorry, to tell a person that you love them and to give people second chances because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you.
This article again is a tribute to Anne, to tell her that she is still my best friend wherever she is ,that I¬‘ve never strum the guitar after she left , that I still visit her first when I land in Cochin and most importantly that I never take my friends or foes for granted and make it a point to be there whether they need me or not , that I remember her in my prayers every night until we meet again on that beautiful shore.
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